Dear Ellis: 2 - Conrad

Dear El,

Today Sam Janus collapsed at a campaign event. His press people are just claiming he's exhausted from the travel and constant debates with Martin. Funny that Martin is older, yet seems more able to withstand the pressure perhaps? The online tizzy is that Janus is really gravely ill and hiding it for the election, because Martin simply cannot be allowed into office. People are consistently comparing Martin to a Hitler-type personality, power hungry, bigoted, ruling with the iron fist of fear and violence. Yet others deny the risk - how could one man end up with so much power in a government designed to prevent tyrants or kings, how could one man surpass all the checks and balances within to usurp more than any man before him for 300 years? I myself worry, but I worry about his powerful friends, his Congressional alliances, his zealous supporters eating up every hateful word with which he paints blame upon the lesser loved "labels" of our society. He's already threatened to kick anyone Muslim out of the country, a country who's very first Constitutional Amendment guarantees people here the right to practice the religion of their choosing. His Vice Presidential running mate, Gabe Conrad, is a politician who pushes back against the rights of gays and lesbians, votes against bills that maintain equality for women, and publicly pushes his beloved Christianity as if it should be the new Sharia Law.

Have you ever heard of Dominionists? I was looking into this Gabe Conrad online and he's a scary dude, and a dominionist - a group of people who truly believe that our country should be a Christian country, laws based on the laws of the Bible, where all people should be "saved" in the light of Jesus. Dominionists began the 7 Mountains Movement, citing a piece of the end of days story in Revelations from the Bible. They believe that society has 7 pillars or pieces - Business, Education, Family, Government, Media, Religion, and Arts/Entertainment (although some push Arts/Entertainment in with Media and claim the 7th pillar as the Military). That if a group could gain control of all 7 pillars, they would gain control of everything in society. Control people's money through business, control their laws through government, control the information they do and do not have access to through the media, control opinions of things through their movies and TV shows, control what the children are raised to believe, to question, to know, through education... And if you think about it, right now conservative Christians do control a great deal of those things already. Throughout the primary elections, many people online were refuting information being feed to the masses via "news" outlets, owned by giant corporations with vested interest in the electoral outcomes. Corporations have been exerting power over Congress for years through lobbying and pushing cooperative candidates into House and Senate seats to do their bidding.

Slowly, religion is indeed taking over these pieces of everyday life without the rest of us even realizing it. Slow change is far harder to recognize, therefore highly effective. While we are too busy fighting over sports teams, watching reality television shows, arguing over the validity of common core teaching methods, blaming welfare recipients for our high taxes, and jumping into new wars over oil rights, people we've never met and know not their names are inaudibly taking over each aspect of these 7 mountains while we "sleep".

All this information is very new to me, and only because I happened to start playing around online to look into Gabe Conrad, and only because Janus got sick. I thought to myself, well what would happen if one of these idiots is elected, and their VP ends up president? Shouldn't I know who I'm voting for in that situation? And Conrad looks worse than Martin!!! He's a dominionist, Ellis. How scary is THAT...

Will write again soon,
always,
Anna.

#AnnaAndEllis #DearEllis #HopeVali #politics #newbookidea #murica

Dear Ellis: 1 - Blue Light Lies

My dearest El,

I suppose I owe you a letter... I hope these words find you happy and healthy on the other side of the world. I wish you were here beside me, discussing this hot mess of a country in which you've left me. I honestly cannot blame you one bit for getting out - it feels like every day people are growing angrier and angrier, yet still frightened underneath it all. Scared of money. Scared of health issues. Scared of money. Scared of other people, and themselves as well. They hide from the fear in television shows about the wealthy, the famous, being followed around portrayed as "having it all", yet to me, having absolutely nothing. Yet we are convinced that what they have is what we want. Desires broken up into 11 minute moments, cut with commercials offering a younger face, fancier cars to drive the same route our perfectly good-enough cars could drive, but BETTER. Offering a pill or a shot or a spray to heal every ailment one might come up with having, whether we have them or not, we need that pill to fix our failed lives! Or at least that's what the pretty lady running through the field wants us to believe... Airwaves cluttered with contestants fighting to win that dream prize, athletes pushing every boundary (including the legal ones) to WIN WIN WIN the next turf-carpeted war, news feeds that push our fears up and convince us that everyone around us could be that bad man, that terrorist, that rapist or thief, so that we barely even trust our own selves any more in our cloud of worry.

So many of these moving pictures make me feel my own brain cells dying... Humor at others' expense, humor at jokes an 8 year old tells, humor that's not humorous but for the recorded laughter leading us toward the desire to fit in and laugh along, regardless of our own senses. And how can it be "news" if the story I see before me compares little to the posted youtube and facebook videos going viral showing another, vastly different perspective of the same situation?

Aggression floods this society, its power and fear expanding, blaming race, gender, religion, for all the wrongs we each face. As if we humans faced no battles before we divided ourselves by labels, before we put ourselves on pedestals of entitlement and perfection-demanding judgmentalism. People know more about their sports team players than they do their own neighbors now. They truly believe they know more about the intentions and desires of everyone else, while blinding themselves to their own, because it is so much easier to point those fingers away, out, at someone else, than at one's own heart and one's own reflected truth.

And now we are asked to yet again choose leaders for ourselves, our broken, failing, desperate selves. So our choices, mimicking the destracted chaos we've created around us, have become the Corrupt Liar and the Power-hungry Fear-monger. So much hatred is spewed daily between and around the two, like bullets across the field of battle, as chants of "We are right! You are wrong!" echo from both sides in unison, at top volume and in vain (or is it in vanity?).

On one side we have Sam Janus, who panders to the middle-minded folk, nefariously feigning at genuinity, while hiding the reigns behind held by old money's silent machine. While Dave Martin rallies unease, despair, apprehension, and suspicion, offering strong-handed change, conforming ideals of safety, and the return to some antique guise of "how it used to be". Yet such memories are but dreams with forgotten foes and hardship, far from authenticity, but enticing no less to those hurting and afraid. Directing blame like one directs a movie instead of inspiring hope and new ideas impresses advantageously those minds already so easily distracted by television and cell phone games, the blue light lies and obsessive addictions of the majority, the sheep so self righteous in the "truth" they are fed at the hands of their herder de jour. And I want to scream "Wake UP!" and yet am weighted by the understanding that such screams would be futile, unheard and unwanted, ignored and denied.

I cannot imagine (or perhaps I can and simply desire not to) what the "outside world" must think of us - the spoiled rich kids of the planet, who just won't get a clue, baptized in their arrogance and bathed in their wastefulness, and hanging out with the "wrong crowd" in their preference of leaders.

The dissenting minds such as mine are not uncommon but we are also far from the majority, those bandwagon riders of Pandering vs. Mongering, who stout-heartedly reject choices beyond the two. But to be fair, I suppose, the concept of powerlessness is all we are taught, all we are surrounded by and sold, on television sets, by preachers and by internet comrades. We are bred to pick a side, then surround ourselves with only compatriots, to cull all challengers, removing any dissent from our ears. One perspective, a singularity of choice, births but greater confidence in said choice, I guess. Because to consider anything else might begin to degrade said choice, to move rationality toward doubt, to leave one open to the potential of being WRONG, and that, to most, is unacceptable, unconscionable, unthinkable. And we can't have that, now can we?

It will be very interesting to observe these moments in time, I suppose. Although, I do so with beads of dread mixed with the curiosity and aspiration of hope, because I really hope we don't f*ck things up too badly this time around... Wish us luck.

All my love, always,
Anna

#AnnaandEllis #DearEllis #HopeVali #politics #newbookidea #murica

Eyes afire

His gait reminded her of the swaying of weeping willow branches, flowing in some unseen breeze, thin but full of a confidence only the comfort of long limbs and old roots can grow over time.

Sun kissed soft skin and deep ocean eyes, but a fire burnt on angry memories of bridges barely survived hid within.

Vocal chords played both lows and highs, whispers and woes, rarely voluminous, yet always with a wisdom seeming to just know.

And she believed him. In everything, she believed. She believed in him. In everything, she did believe. Except that he could lay his past down at hardened feet, to let it go, to allow her to tread beyond its scars, it’s waging’s and wars, so he might walk beside her, ever forward, hand in hand.

He believed her. In everything, he believed. Except that she could believe in him, love him, to trust her with a future beyond his past, and that he could walk beside her, not behind.

So they danced without dancing, for he never would dance, despite his grace in length and form and art. He danced a dance only she could see, only she could hear, only she could sing along to, if only he would allow it; the dance of a tomorrow never feigned, untrusted and unkind, it’s rhythm always in rewind, chaotic in his mind, his blind sweet blue eyes, always on fire.

For even the deepest ocean will burn,
if fed enough fuel.

waiting... to rise.

She speaks as if someone with true experience. Her words are so specifically chosen that you almost pity them, so micromanaged inside that mind. Her tones communicate self righteousness, while her ideas communicate humility, a manner confusing in it's intent. Perhaps that is the purpose, to confuse just enough so that none may assume to know true meaning at any time. Perhaps it is just her self defense mechanism. We all have them, and we tend to deny those we use most.

She drives me to frustration regularly, but I am grateful she has been named the one to teach our children. Something about her confidence gives them confidence in her, in her words & teachings to them. I've yet to hear her lie to them or not admit when she is unsure. But only to them.

Her tones change around the young ones. From one who knows better than adults to one who is only inspired by evolving minds, one who desires to provoke thinking and debating, questioning and observing, guessing and imagining, learning and discovering. And so, no matter my personal opinions of her relating to myself and my peers, she was our greatest asset to prod the children's minds, pushing them to become the wisest adults we could ask for.

And is that not our purpose as parents, to push our children to surpass ourselves?

Perhaps that is why she relates to them far better than any of the parents, because we are cookies that have already been baked, and they are just potential filled dough, waiting for her hands to kneed it, waiting
to rise.

heavy beyond weight

"At first there were just a couple of us. Trying to find water, trying to keep moving. The first little town we came across, we searched 'til we found one of those Army stores. Guns, ammo, camping gear, fishing equipment, batteries, lights, emergency rations, canteens, everything we needed in one place. Then we just kept going, finding people here and there along our way. We didn't stick around too long with any, though. We were all better off that way. Too much weight, carrying too many people, no, we needed to stay just a quick few, light & ready.
Most groups we ran into assumed on sight that we were some kind of movie-style militia, hoping to kill, rob, rape & pillage. Thank God television is gone, after all the good THAT's done us." He smiled, adding, "But we just know how to travel," as he looked around, as if to say, 'look at all this, around your camp, all this baggage'.
And yet, he & I both knew the truth. He traveled so lightly because he already carried a heaviness beyond his own weight, deep within himself, with every step he took.

no one word heavy enough

I can't hear your voice any more. I can't remember what it sounded like. Your face is still there, tucked in my memory, but the one photo I saved helps with that. You'd have said "I told ya so" if you were here - after all the years of pictures I took, you calling me "camera crazy", making you smile every time... All those pictures, and only the one remains. But they can see you, as they grow, and never forget you, because of that one. Their daddy, their father, their hero. I miss you constantly. My rock. But you gave your life so that we may live, and I will honor that by not letting any of us die inside, because of all of this. Too much change too fast, can that be called "trauma"? There is no one word heavy enough for what we just survived. Maybe there will be someday, but not yet.

No relief from consequence

We should have seen it coming. The signs were all there, but hindsight lets one see the details in their entirety in a way the present moment refuses to allow. If we'd known, I cannot even try to list all the things we'd each have done differently. But the facts were too obscure, too varied to see their relation, let alone their meaning. Without stars falling from the sky, the hopeful faith we have that life will continue to maintain its balance tends to prevail. But this time, that faith was wrong, so very, very wrong. And the losses caused by this unintentional error of our human programming, so far beyond any expectation, were blinding. And we are still absorbing the enormity of it. To cast blame is the quickest response, but offers no relief from consequence, offers no response to the haunting question "what now?". No wonder the learned of our time had taught so uniformly the psychology of loss - that acceptance is only the end result of all grieving, that much must be battled before its reprieve may be earned. A lesson I think we're learning and needs be remembered, taught anew to the youth we fight so hard to protect, even if those learned are now long gone. Even if those learned, too, missed all the warning signs we each can see so clearly, now.