Dear Ellis: 1 - Blue Light Lies

My dearest El,

I suppose I owe you a letter... I hope these words find you happy and healthy on the other side of the world. I wish you were here beside me, discussing this hot mess of a country in which you've left me. I honestly cannot blame you one bit for getting out - it feels like every day people are growing angrier and angrier, yet still frightened underneath it all. Scared of money. Scared of health issues. Scared of money. Scared of other people, and themselves as well. They hide from the fear in television shows about the wealthy, the famous, being followed around portrayed as "having it all", yet to me, having absolutely nothing. Yet we are convinced that what they have is what we want. Desires broken up into 11 minute moments, cut with commercials offering a younger face, fancier cars to drive the same route our perfectly good-enough cars could drive, but BETTER. Offering a pill or a shot or a spray to heal every ailment one might come up with having, whether we have them or not, we need that pill to fix our failed lives! Or at least that's what the pretty lady running through the field wants us to believe... Airwaves cluttered with contestants fighting to win that dream prize, athletes pushing every boundary (including the legal ones) to WIN WIN WIN the next turf-carpeted war, news feeds that push our fears up and convince us that everyone around us could be that bad man, that terrorist, that rapist or thief, so that we barely even trust our own selves any more in our cloud of worry.

So many of these moving pictures make me feel my own brain cells dying... Humor at others' expense, humor at jokes an 8 year old tells, humor that's not humorous but for the recorded laughter leading us toward the desire to fit in and laugh along, regardless of our own senses. And how can it be "news" if the story I see before me compares little to the posted youtube and facebook videos going viral showing another, vastly different perspective of the same situation?

Aggression floods this society, its power and fear expanding, blaming race, gender, religion, for all the wrongs we each face. As if we humans faced no battles before we divided ourselves by labels, before we put ourselves on pedestals of entitlement and perfection-demanding judgmentalism. People know more about their sports team players than they do their own neighbors now. They truly believe they know more about the intentions and desires of everyone else, while blinding themselves to their own, because it is so much easier to point those fingers away, out, at someone else, than at one's own heart and one's own reflected truth.

And now we are asked to yet again choose leaders for ourselves, our broken, failing, desperate selves. So our choices, mimicking the destracted chaos we've created around us, have become the Corrupt Liar and the Power-hungry Fear-monger. So much hatred is spewed daily between and around the two, like bullets across the field of battle, as chants of "We are right! You are wrong!" echo from both sides in unison, at top volume and in vain (or is it in vanity?).

On one side we have Sam Janus, who panders to the middle-minded folk, nefariously feigning at genuinity, while hiding the reigns behind held by old money's silent machine. While Dave Martin rallies unease, despair, apprehension, and suspicion, offering strong-handed change, conforming ideals of safety, and the return to some antique guise of "how it used to be". Yet such memories are but dreams with forgotten foes and hardship, far from authenticity, but enticing no less to those hurting and afraid. Directing blame like one directs a movie instead of inspiring hope and new ideas impresses advantageously those minds already so easily distracted by television and cell phone games, the blue light lies and obsessive addictions of the majority, the sheep so self righteous in the "truth" they are fed at the hands of their herder de jour. And I want to scream "Wake UP!" and yet am weighted by the understanding that such screams would be futile, unheard and unwanted, ignored and denied.

I cannot imagine (or perhaps I can and simply desire not to) what the "outside world" must think of us - the spoiled rich kids of the planet, who just won't get a clue, baptized in their arrogance and bathed in their wastefulness, and hanging out with the "wrong crowd" in their preference of leaders.

The dissenting minds such as mine are not uncommon but we are also far from the majority, those bandwagon riders of Pandering vs. Mongering, who stout-heartedly reject choices beyond the two. But to be fair, I suppose, the concept of powerlessness is all we are taught, all we are surrounded by and sold, on television sets, by preachers and by internet comrades. We are bred to pick a side, then surround ourselves with only compatriots, to cull all challengers, removing any dissent from our ears. One perspective, a singularity of choice, births but greater confidence in said choice, I guess. Because to consider anything else might begin to degrade said choice, to move rationality toward doubt, to leave one open to the potential of being WRONG, and that, to most, is unacceptable, unconscionable, unthinkable. And we can't have that, now can we?

It will be very interesting to observe these moments in time, I suppose. Although, I do so with beads of dread mixed with the curiosity and aspiration of hope, because I really hope we don't f*ck things up too badly this time around... Wish us luck.

All my love, always,
Anna

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